11 School Rules That Can Improve Your Classroom’s SEL

Are school rules just a set of dos and don’ts? Not quite. When crafted thoughtfully, school rules can become powerful tools for promoting Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) in your classroom. And we all know, SEL can set your students up for success far beyond the boundaries of your classroom. 

Research shows that SEL helps children thrive academically, socially, and emotionally. 

According to CASEL, SEL isn’t just about keeping order – it’s about equipping students with the tools they need to understand themselves, build relationships, and make responsible choices. 

Sounds great, right? But where do school rules fit into all of this? Let’s dig deeper. 

What Are the 5 SEL Standards?

Before we leap into how school rules can improve social emotional learning, let’s cover the five core competencies that are included as part of those SEL standards. 

These pillars create the foundation for successful SEL programs and guide how students interact with themselves, each other, and their environment. 

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is all about understanding your own emotions, thoughts, and values. It’s recognizing your strengths and weaknesses without judgment. Students with strong self-awareness tend to have better confidence and a clear sense of purpose.  

Social Awareness

Social awareness skills allow students to empathize with peers from diverse backgrounds. They build an understanding of social norms and develop a sense of gratitude and compassion.  

Relationship Skills

Building and maintaining healthy relationships is a must for team collaboration. This includes communication, listening, and conflict resolution skills.  

Responsible Decision-Making

Teaching students how to consider the outcomes of their actions is key. Responsible decision-making involves weighing the pros and cons before jumping into decisions.  

Self-Management

This is where students learn to regulate their emotions, set goals, and manage stress. It’s an essential skill that helps them remain focused and motivated.  

11 School Rules to Improve SEL

Creating effective rules can be a fine art. You want them to be simple, fair, and, most importantly, purposeful. Here’s a look at some SEL-centered rules and strategies to promote social and emotional growth in your school.  

1. Focus on Restorative Discipline  

Traditional punishments like detention or suspension often fall short of teaching students how to make better decisions or repair harm. That’s where restorative practices step in. 

Instead of punishing or placing blame, restorative discipline encourages students to reflect on their actions, understand their impact, and rebuild their relationships through meaningful dialogue.  

Restorative practices often involve students participating in structured conversations or “circles.” For example, if two students have an argument, they sit down with a teacher or mediator to openly discuss their perspectives. Again, the goal is not to place blame or find out who did what, but to repair the harm caused and lay the groundwork for future positive interactions.  

This approach not only teaches accountability but also helps students develop SEL competencies like relationship skills and responsible decision-making. Plus, it underscores that everyone is valued, even after making mistakes – a key principle of SEL.  

2. Encourage Student Voice in Rule-Making  

Imagine a world where students help set the classroom’s rules. If it sounds ambitious at best and impractical at worst, think again – it’s actually an effective way to strengthen SEL.  

When you let students pitch in to create their own rules, it fosters a sense of belonging and feelings of significance in your classroom. It doesn’t have to be a major democratic undertaking; it can be as simple as hosting a brainstorming session where students share what they believe will help create a more respectful, supportive environment. 

When rules come directly from the students who will be tasked with following them , they feel a greater sense of ownership and responsibility for following them. This collaborative approach also hones critical SEL skills like active listening, empathy, and cooperation. Plus, students who understand why rules exist are far more likely to follow and respect them.

3. Create “Peace Room” Spaces  

Sometimes students need more than a time-out – they need a restorative space to calm down, reflect, and process emotions. Enter “Peace Rooms.”  

A Peace Room isn’t a place for punishment; it’s a sanctuary within a busy school environment. Equipped with calming materials like stress balls, sketch pads, and mindfulness guides, these spaces allow students to regulate their feelings. Trained staff or counselors can guide students through conflicts or emotional challenges in these rooms when needed.  

Providing this kind of support sends a clear message that it’s okay to have feelings and take time to process them. It can reduce disruptive behavior while also empowering students with self-management tools they can use for years down the road.

4. Make Discipline Reflect Growth, Not Control  

Traditional discipline often prioritizes compliance over learning. But if your goal is to build SEL skills, consider reframing discipline to focus on student growth instead of punishment.  

For instance, instead of sending a student to detention for being disruptive, why not have them complete a reflection activity? This might include journaling about the emotions they experienced, identifying triggers, and writing down alternative responses they could try in the future.  

5. Adopt Inclusive, Fair Practices  

Did you know Black students are suspended at rates four times higher than their White peers for the same behaviors? Implicit biases often seep into our disciplinary policies, making them less objective than we’d like and causing inequities in how students are treated. 

By creating inclusive rules and fair practices, you can tackle this issue head-on. For instance, instead of vague terms like “disrespect,” your school could implement discipline policies that clearly define inappropriate behavior and ensure consistent consequences regardless of the student’s background.  

6. Reward Positive Behavior Creatively  

Who doesn’t love to be recognized for doing something well? Instead of focusing solely on correcting negative behaviors, make time for celebrating positive ones.  

A great example of this is using SEL-aligned incentives. For instance, you could create a system where students earn points for demonstrating empathy, helping peers, or working collaboratively. These points can then be exchanged for small rewards like extra recess, classroom privileges, or certificates of recognition. 

7. Replace “No Talking” with “Active Listening”  

Transforming a “No Talking” policy into one that encourages “Active Listening” shifts the focus from silence to engagement.

Rather than discouraging dialogue, an active and reflective listening approach promotes understanding and reinforces critical social-emotional learning (SEL) skills. 

You can model active listening to your students by acknowledging students’ contributions, asking clarifying questions, and providing thoughtful responses. 

8. Encourage a Growth Mindset Rule  

Incorporating a growth mindset fundamentally transforms how students perceive challenges and personal development. 

Focus on the journey, not on the destination, as they say. By encouraging students to look at their failures as stepping stones and praising the process of learning over achievement, you can teach your students to view setbacks as opportunities for growth.

9. Introduce a Rule That Encourages Empathy Before Action 

Encourage students to consider others’ feelings before they act. For younger students, a rule like “Pause and imagine how you might feel in their shoes” can help. 

For older students, rules could go further by tying empathy to decision-making. For example, when making classroom or school-wide choices, ask students questions such as, “How will this decision affect others?” or “What’s a fair outcome for everyone involved?” 

When empathy becomes second nature, students foster an inclusive and thoughtful school culture – and that leads to lasting SEL skills like responsible decision-making and perspective-taking. 

10. Incorporate “Gratitude Moments” as a Non-Negotiable Rule 

What if practicing gratitude could be part of the daily routine? A simple rule to dedicate three minutes to “Gratitude Moments” in the classroom can transform the emotional climate of your school. 

Before ending the day, encourage students to share something they’re thankful for with the class. Focusing on the positive helps stimulate feelings of kindness, build optimism, and improve emotional regulation. 

Even better? Regular reflection on gratitude has been proven to boost mood, strengthen social bonds, and create a welcoming classroom environment. It’s a small shift with a lasting impact. 

11. Promote a Rule To Use “I Messages” During Disputes 

Often, conflicts in classrooms escalate when students feel misunderstood or defensive, but a simple shift in communication styles can make a big difference. Teach students how to use “I Messages” during disputes, such as, “I felt upset when you borrowed my pencil without asking.” 

By encouraging students to articulate their own feelings instead of placing blame, you’ll foster healthier communication, build empathy, and reduce misunderstandings. This is something that can easily be integrated into classroom norms or conflict resolution protocols. 

Final Thoughts

Rules shape the environment where learning happens – and that includes social-emotional learning. By moving beyond traditional boundary-setting and adopting SEL-focused rules, you’re not just managing behavior – you’re shaping thoughtful, compassionate individuals. 

But don’t stop here! Integrating SEL into classroom rules is only the beginning. Customize your approach to reflect your own SEL priorities and values, and you’ll start to see some serious magic happening.