Processing it + 3 tips.
It’s the end of the year, and EVERYONE is feeling the ending energy of the year. Thanksgiving quite literally gave us a sweet taste of the long-awaited holiday season. With this buzzing energy comes intense manifested energy from your students. Leaving you and everyone on edge!
Let us help you de-escalate and channel that overwhelming holiday energy into something extra powerful and less distracting.
De-escalating is hard. We get it! It may be a constant part of your daily dynamic or it may be a less common happening. Whatever the case, let’s establish and turn our attention to quick problem solving de-escalating tactics!
The reason your student is having a tantrum is a result of a thought, energy, or stressed pattern that’s causing a physical reaction. So, let’s start by first addressing their inner dilemma.
A few more prompts
– “What do you need?”
– “Can we take a moment over here and talk about this?”
– “What’s bothering you?”
– “Can you point to what’s bothering you?”
On the other hand:
“Don’t do that!!”
“Knock it off!”
Words like the ones mentioned above can make matters worse.
Often times we go into conflict wanting to immediately dissolve—which makes sense. It’s easy to go into de-escalating with action words like, “Stop!” “Knock it off!” “Hey!”. You have to try your best to avoid harsh words or intonation when expressing concern. As the teacher, you can either make or break the de-escalating process. We want to work WITH, and not against the blow-up. The child may be used to different styles of reprimand at home, so be mindful that the child might not be used to this kind of approach.
Depending on the child, you may need to use more clarifying word choices. A lot of the time the child is seeking to be affirmed or needing attention. Or there is another conflict or situation involving another student. If that is the case, do your best to separate the conflict. If it’s a peer conflict, quickly get to the root of what’s going on. The more questions you ask about how they are feeling, the better.
Sometimes the students just need someone to give some attention. Try and identify early warning signs and know how to intervene before they happen. Are you thinking about environmental factors that may be triggering a meltdown? There’s a lot that goes into it, try your best to be in tune with the energy of your student and the classroom.
At the end of the day, don’t feel steered away from a logical consequence if needed. Remember a child is still empowered to make their own choice, they just may not like the consequence. Thinking of consequences that could also be beneficial to the growth of the child is important. You can Google a plethora of activities.
Some ending tips:
At the end of the day, you know your students best! Take what tips you can and try them this week, it may help you more than you think!
The child who is ‘left behind’ most is the one who leaves school without transition readiness.
Dr. James Stanfield, Ed.D.